Adoption Consultant

Todd & I went to an "Adoption Consultant" presentation with 7 other couples and a single woman. I was such a skeptic going into the presentation. My attitude going into it: We've already spent so much money on fertility stuff.... how come we'd want to pay this person to consult us -- when she doens't actually work for an agency or place adoptive children?!

She made a pretty good case for why to hire her, though. The way she works... she helps you make a profile book (I think that's what they're called).... these are the books that agencies hold onto & show prospective birth mothers so they can decide to choose you or someone else. We were going to make one up -- so it's probably good to get advice on this. Also, she's got links with all sorts of agencies across the country. She says that her clients are called on more often because they're "informed" adoptive parents and are less trouble than someone without the help of a consultant. And - she walks you through the whole process. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

She had a financial person there too. They explained about ways to pay for adoption... we were about to redo our home equity line of credit after the renovation work to the house. Sounds like we should increase the amount & put it on there. ugh. those payments are already killing us! or - there are loans.... like car loans that you can pay off in 60 installments. or - there are legal ways for parents to make gifts to a child and their spouse. the other thing mentioned: tax credit up to eleven grand back on what you spent which will help some eventually. (can't be claimed on taxes 'til after the adoption is finalized by the courts... about 6 months after you bring the baby home -- the agency who places it has the right & will occassionally check in on you. once they determine the baby is safe, they file the paperwork to transfer full parental rights to the adoptive parents) THEN, you can do the tax stuff to offset a portion of the cost. this part was upsetting (the financial part b/c it seems so unattainable). Susan - we may have to talk more about your financing ideas!!

we figured that it would be good to have someone work with us along the way. she has insight into which agencies are good (not just have good marketing materials). she knows which ones have little to no application fees so you can get in on multiple agencies' radar. she knows which agencies to pair you up with in terms of what type of children or what type of arrangement you want with the birth mother. i guess, all-in-all, there is a benefit to her services. we have a meeting with her november 1st. after the homestudy -- it could happen then... or could go longer. she said that, really, it goes as fast as the adoptive parents want it to happen. 99% of her clients from last year had a baby within 12 months. some had them before the home study was complete (she says she has "ways" to get around that).

guess we're going to go for it.
c