an "OK" weekend... but a "not so great" Monday...

Saturday - I participated in a neighborhood street clean / Todd, Mercer, and I walked to the square with some neighbors for a late breakfast afterwards. Then, Mercer and I went on an "artful" garden tour that afternoon. (Put on by the High Museum of Art -- so there was art in most of the gardens & plein aire painters in all of them providing demonstration.)

Sounds like an ideal day -- and it was pretty good -- except for at the 2nd garden we visited.

Mental image: baby sling down around my waist / holding Mercer hiding a wet spot on the front of his outfit and on the front of my shirt / trying to feed him but it's not working because we're trying out new (faster) nipples on the bottles so he's got milk running down his face and he's wailing because he's not getting the food he so desperately wants.

And -- at least there was violin player trying to serenade the visitors to the garden above Mercer's wailing -- so it made the whole situation described above all the more elegant! (kind of like that scene in the Titanic movie... the orchestra was playing while the ship was going down... right to the end!)

Note: This was NOT my favorite moment with Mercer! It wasn't any fun at the time, but looking back now... it wasn't completely intolerable or horrible. I was comforted by my neighbor who went with me saying it wouldn't be the last time! OH WELL!


Sunday, I worked on the nursery and gardened some. Todd worked on installing a gutter on the garage so that we can hook a rain barrel up to it. We had to pass Mercer back-and-forth between the two of us to keep him fed / changed / entertained while we tried to work on projects. It was tough to get stuff done, honestly. We both realized, I think, that we're just not going to work on things like we used to. But... the CUTEST thing that happened Sunday: Todd dressing Mercer in the morning. He promptly put on a Mets Onesie.... and grabbed the Mets snuggly bear too to accessorize. (even his G diaper (hybrid diaper) matches -- as it's orange!) It was a big game Sunday between the Mets and the Yankees. And - Mercer was very happy (well, really Todd was) that the Mets swept the Yankees.


Today was Mercer's first day of daycare. (He's in an "educational" outfit... T is for Turtle!) I took him late b/c I went to Stroller Strides this morning. We went shortly after 12:00. When I went, the director of the facility was there in the infant room (lending a hand, I suppose, to the teacher in the room). She promptly came to us and spent 20 minutes or so holding Mercer and comforting me that they would take great care of him. While there, I witnessed one 15 mo old child (sitting in this table with 6 chairs sunk into it) flinging food all over the place. Another child (18 mo) was running all over the place and coughing horribly and then promptly coming over and touching Mercer's car seat & toy hanging on it. (Mental note: need to sterilize that tonight!!). He also dropped his pacifier, picked it up, put it back in his mouth. Another 18 mo old child was not wanting to lay down / take her nap so she was reaching out of the crib grabbing whatever she could -- including a box of toys which she landed to the floor. A 12 mo old was sitting in a swing and a 8 mo old was asleep in another crib. Including Mercer that makes 6 children -- and a 3 month old who is normally there wasn't there today.

When we signed him up, they said that they were about to bring another teacher on and move the older children to another (adjacent) room. That room has always been empty when we've been - so I believe them... but - they haven't done it yet.

When I picked Mercer up today around 5, I heard him crying when I went in. The woman was trying to give him a bottle as he was in a swing. She was feeding him only a couple of hours after he ate his afternoon bottle. (This isn't cool, as Mercer eats every 4 hours.) She said he was crying b/c he was hungry and that we needed to feed him every couple of hours.... NOOOOO.... he wanted to be held and he was tired!

Ugh.... it was really hard today! I got a bit done in the nursery, though, and I got to try him out (try me out) with the daycare thing. I don't know that either one of us did so great today this first day. Maybe it will be better tomorrow? (The teacher told me that they were going to open up the new room tomorrow and the older kids wouldn't be in the infant room.) Let's hope so!

Wiggle and Giggle

There are two things I forgot to blog about in the last post:

1 - We had our 2nd post-placement visit with the social worker Monday. It was a new social worker, as we found out that our previous one no longer works there (and she was the owner of the company!!) We really liked the first social worker.... she was a cool lady. The new one is nice, though, and will get the job done just as well (we hope). We have one more visit next month and then go to court the following month to finalize the adoption.

2 - The birthmother has begun contact again... she responded last week to an email I sent a month ago. She said her phone was turned off. She texted me yesterday several times giving me her new number and asking about Mercer. She said, too, that she got me a mother's day card but hasn't sent it yet. WOW. I didn't expect that from her! I had a "we're thinking of you" card to send her around that time, but didn't send it either.

There have been so many wonderful moments shared with little Mercer this week:
*He has been checking out his hands. He'll hold his arms up and stare at his fingers. Sometimes, he'll move his fingers around and watch them wiggle. He's fascinated for a few minutes then promptly sticks his whole fist in his mouth.

*Tuesday, Mercer giggled. !*HE GIGGLED*! It was so cute. I wish I could remember what I was doing to make him laugh out loud... but I can't.It melts your heart, though, and we can't wait to hear more and more of it!

*He continues to smile, coo, and gurgle. He's a happy happy little guy.

Wednesday, Mercer & I went to lunch on the square with a couple of neighbors. The little 6 month old boy who lives on the next street was being held up on the table (standing up). I stood Mercer next to him & he looks slightly taller. The baby, Jackson, was premature and neither of his parents are tall -- he checks in somewhere around 5% on the growth charts compared to babies his age. Mercer checked in at 75% on both height and weight at his last doctor's visit - so he is a little bit on the big side. Wednesday, I came to the realization that we'd no longer be getting baby Jackson's hand-me-downs anymore. Oh well. We "had" such a well-dressed baby for a short while! : - )

One of the things discussed at lunch was "am I stimulating / working on Mercer's development enough?" So, he and I did a baby & mommy yoga workout that night. I like it because the dvd works on development & strenghtening of his stomach, neck, and back muscles and also incorporates some massage for his arms, legs, and even stomach area (to aid in digestion & gas). Some of the exercises for the moms actually uses the baby as weight for some leg and arm exercises and others you lay the baby on the ground & do things over him (like downward dog yoga pose)... which makes me a little nervous b/c I'm such a clutz!

Yesterday, it rained almost all day -- but that made for good baby-sleeping weather. He spent a couple of hours in this pack-and-play. We've been laying him on the short side (2' long) because we have toys and stuff on the other half. It looks like laying him this way is coming to an end too. We'll have to clean the stuff out & lay him long-ways in it from now on. He's wearing my *favorite* pants (khaki with turtles all over). I love them so much so that I bought them in 2 sizes. (the 2nd pair was on an ultra cheap clearance)

Now onto today: I signed up for a week's worth of free classes in this thing called Stroller Strides. It's fitness for mothers where you take your baby / exercises are designed around the stroller. Lunges, jogging, etc. They also use exercise bands to do arm work and do ab work too. I went for the first time this morning and it was actually a pretty good workout. I'm definitely checking it out some next week as my free week continues -- and will consider getting a 3 month membership b/c I really liked the instructor. (Got to lose this pregnancy weight, wink wink!)

I know this is a long blog, but there's one FINAL thing I wanted to mention. Some of the kids on our street & the next street over were running a lemonade stand as a fund-raiser this afternoon. A little boy, Gavin, has Cystic Fibrosis and they're raising money for CF research. This is actually something close to my & Todd's heart - as we found out that we were both carriers of CF when we were going through fertility stuff. If we were to have conceived a child together... we would've had a 25% chance of having a child with the disease. (There was a 50% chance that the child would be a carrier and pass it on to their children and 25% chance that the child would be unaffected.) I was talking to Gavin's mom Nikki (who's also an architect!) and she was telling me that 1 in 30 adults is a carrier. Two carriers (like us) is where these scary odds come about. Because of the likleyhood, insurance companies conduct testing for females who are in the child-bearing stage of their life. It's HIGHLY recommended to get tested if you're of child-bearing age. (FYI -- if you & your partner are both carriers -- it is still possible to have children without the disease through Pre-Genetic Determination where they look at the cells under a microscope / implant the healthy embryos during invitro fertilization (IVF). Fascinating stuff -- and AMAZING research is being done.) If anyone's interested -- I can tell you more, as I was completely blown away by the science of it and technologies now available. I'd really encourage you to go to this site & donate a few bucks. Five bucks. Ten bucks. More bucks if you can... whatever you're able to do -- in support of the CF fund-raiser that "Team Gavin" is working on. http://www.cff.org/Great_Strides/NicoleBartlett4670

Ok. I'll go for now.

Finally got back onto blogger...

(don't know why it says Saturday.... post was actually made Tuesday the 13th)

I was having MAJOR trouble the past few days & couldn't log into the blog. Thankfully, I was finally able to create a new account and this blog was still associated with it. (I was afraid I was going to lose it.)


This past week was almost perfect.

Friday, Mercer and I met some of mine & Todd’s former co-workers for lunch. Afterwards, little M had a late lunch in a park (he started to have a melt-down before we got home, so we had to pull over / chose to eat on a park bench). When we did get home, we had some neighbors stop by & hang out ‘til dark in the back yard… then we all walked up to the square for an impromptu / late dinner. We are known as “the stroller gang” I hear, as the other couples each have a 2 year old and one of them also has a 6 month old.

Saturday morning, Todd / Mercer / I walked back up to the square and went to the farmer’s market. We bought some more tomato plants, some basil, dill, and oregano. Todd and Mercer hung out by the pond while I attended a 1st Communion ceremony for a friend’s daughter. It was really cute… a couple of dozen “little brides” and a number of little boys in suits. I think they were all finishing 2nd grade at a local Catholic school. Todd and Mercer met us at the reception for 3 of the girls. (notice that Mercer is wearing the attire of a proper southern boy - seersucker pants!)


Unfortunately, I couldn’t stay at the reception long. I had a Memorial Service to attend for one of our interns who passed away suddenly in his sleep. He was 25. Insane. We don’t (and probably won’t) know why he passed. His family either does not know or is not disclosing the reason. His father said a lot of nice things… and the preacher talked about his passion (for sustainability) and how in his 25 years of service, he affected a lot of people. He was a really nice / out-going guy and will be missed very much. Our office is planning some sort of memorial at our new building for him.

Sunday was Mother’s day (my first!) and Todd made sure it was very special. He (and Mercer) surprised me with a necklace that I have admired for several years. It’s a stylized fish designed by a famous architect. Actually, on our honeymoon, we saw the inspiration for this line of jewelry in Barcelona, Spain. The architect designed a large sculptural fish for the Ritz Carlton there & we thought it was pretty cool back then (10 years ago). Todd made apple bread French toast. We ran some errands. We went to Willie’s for lunch (my fav for black bean / red pepper quesadillas). I got to tinker in the garden and plant a bunch of flowers. (Included are a couple of shots of us by the pond... the irises are blooming inside the pond... as well as a number of things in the back yard.) Todd then made dinner. It was a great day. (Also – check out this ADORABLE picture of Mercer “flying” in the back yard - below.) Sort of caught him in a smile. ahhh... love his gum-filled smiles!

The new discovery of the week: Mercer is beginning to discover his hands. He’s been wriggling his fingers around and watching them move. It only lasts a few minutes (where he entertains himself) but it’s really fascinating to watch him develop!

talking to Mercer...

There are a few things I wanted to tell the little guy the past couple of days, but since he doesn't understand my words / won't remember what I say... maybe he'll read this one day?

"Yesterday, we had a nice day. We walked to the square to run errands and have lunch. When we returned - I fed you on the back porch. While there, a butterfly landed on your leg. You were wearing these blue pajamas with yellow ducks on it -- and perhaps the butterfly thought that you were covered in little yellow flowers? The butterfly flitted around and came back to find another "flower" on your arm. He (or she?) had iridescent lower wings and the upper wings were brown with orange dots. There are so many fantastic things for you to explore in the back yard. I was reminded of this yesterday during your feeding and visit from the butterfly."

Today, Mercer had a doctor's appointment. His 2 month visit (actually conducted at 2 1/2 months). He did great... he had a lot of gunk in his ears, so the doctor cleaned them out for us while she was in there looking around. His cradle cap is looking a little better -- nothing that she was concerned with. She commented on his complexion. She thought he looked like he may also be part Italian or part Hispanic. The nurse who saw him before the doc came in -- said that for sure -- Native American. Who knows?! They all think he's extremely handsome. We think he is too!

They commented on how strong he is. How attentive he was throughout the exam. And the nurse was quite surprised at how Mercer did NOT cry when she took his temperature (it went in his bum).

"Mercer, I saw a baby in the waiting room of the doctor's office. He was 7 days old and weighed about 7 1/2 lbs. He was so small. So frail. He was all curled up in a quiet little ball in his dad's arms. It was SO hard to believe that you were once that small -- or actually smaller. The baby's dad asked about you. He was so shocked to learn that you were only about 2 months older than his baby boy. My eyes welled up and I had to look away, for the tiny baby was reminding me at how quickly you have changed! In two months, you have doubled your weight AND grown 6" longer. (12 1/2 lbs / 24" long) It's been amazing to be able to spend these past two months with you and go through this development with you. You were -- no....you ARE -- such a miracle. "

This evening, a neighbor came over and brought her February baby, Luther. He was born 6 weeks early and was about 4 1/2 lbs in weight. When Dorie brought him over, I didn't know he was born early when we talked on the phone so I was shocked at how small he is compared to Mercer. He's pretty long (his fingers are long too), but his head and body are tiny as seen in this picture. We are glad we met her -- for we're sure the boys will be playing together before we know it. She was funny and was really "together" / seems to be handling motherhood like a breeze. She's been working during the day and taking him with her. In fact, she worked a full day today and still managed to bring an appetizer down to our house! I didn't get squat done today it seems. Mercer got a few shots today at the doctor's (we're spacing them out into several sittings) and he was very needy after he woke up from a very long nap. You can see one of his band aids on his leg.

c

ps - Here's a shot of Mercer in a CUTE little consignment-store find.... a "classic" baby boy's outfit. He's asleep in the car seat after the doctor's visit and errands... and I didn't have the heart to wake him / move him... so he ended up napping in the car seat under a shade tree next to the pond.

Cinco de Mayo -- Tagged Tres Times

Of course I should blog about the good stuff -- but the "real" stuff should be in here too, right?! I had lunch with an old friend yesterday (on the 5th) and she said she reads a couple of other mother's blogs -- and that she was intimidated early in her duties of motherhood b/c there was only good stuff on there... they seemed to be doing things perfectly. I don't know if I've blogged about the downs as well as the ups. We by no means are doing it all right -- but we're having fun trying! I've told Mercer over and over, "We're new at this, please be patient with us!" He seems to understand.

So - on that note - let me admit that I was tagged not once... not twice... but THREE times yesterday! I gave Mercer a baby massage with some massage oil and a "Gentle Baby" essential oil that our friend Carla gave us mixed into it. Afterwards, I had him wrapped in a towel (and an extra cloth around his lower half) so that the oils would have time to soak in. At the same time, I attacked the cradle cap issue on the top of his head by rubbing olive oil into his head. Apparently, both made him extremely relaxed -- as he pee-ed all over me -- missing somehow that cloth I had around his waist!

Later, I gave him a bath and again wrapped him in a towel. Before I could get him dressed - as I was carrying him - he tagged me again. But that was actually the 3rd time of the day. The first happened that morning when he was sleeping.... and it was basically a diaper over-run. But - it's worth it, honestly! Todd's been feeding him around 11 (+/-) and then swaddle and put him in the cradle. Mercer is sleeping until 2:30 or 4:00 or 5:00 am -- at which time I go get him / bring him to bed. He continues to sleep and as of late has been beginning to wail that he wants breakfast around 6 / 6:30 / or 7. It's been GREAT! He's getting a ton of sleep and we're getting more as well.

There's an attachment parenting book I've been trying to read -- and there's a line in there that I love: (paraphrased) "The best place for your baby to sleep is where the WHOLE family gets the most rest." They're talking about how a lot of people criticize bringing a baby to bed -- how in this culture a baby must sleep by themselves in the crib, but in other cultures around the world, they never would've thought of doing such a thing! It's interesting.

Too much ramble... not enough pictures!

On Friday, we had lunch with a friend, Katy, who was the structural engineer on one of my past projects. She had her second child, Gage, a few weeks before Mercer ( 02/04/08 ). She & I probably only get together once or twice a year, for she's on the other side of Atlanta from us, but we found a place to meet mid-way and catch up. This will undoubtedly be interesting to watch the two "Feb 08" babies as they grow.

I thought that we were going to meet a couple of other Feb 08 babies on Saturday -- who live on our street -- but that has been post-poned due to schedule issues. Instead, we (drove) to the square to check out opening day of the Farmer's Market. We only had time to buy a couple of tomato plants before getting rained on and ducking into a restaurant for breakfast. There was also a craft fair on the square, but b/c of the rain, we decided to go back the next day. Sunday, we walked to the square and checked out the vendor's wares. Mercer was the Parks & Rec "mascot" hanging out in their tent for awhile (with his honorary "Georgia Grandma Joan") who needed a little bit of baby love. The thing that we enjoy about our square: Community. We ran into SO many people we knew (neighbors, former neighbors, former co-workers, current co-workers, etc).

Monday, Mercer and I met Allison, a former classmate from high-school who I also went to churh with. She brought her son, John David, who is 2 1/2 years old. We had not yet met him for it's been over 3 years since we've seen her. She lives about an hour away from where we live -- and we, too, met somewhere in between in order to get together. They brought Mercer a picture that they both made. So sweet! The photo came out pretty dark, however, I think you can see how cute it is.

Otherwise, we enjoyed beautiful weather Sunday, working in the garden a little bit (Mercer spent some time in a new "tent" that we got for him Saturday), and working on painting the nursery.

Saturday morning - full of emotion

I don't know why I'm here again... I'm watching the movie about adoption called "Juno" for the 2nd time. We watched it last night and I boo-hoo'ed through it. Why am I watching it again this morning?

I feel that we've already lost touch with the birthmother -- and maybe as I watch it, I feel that there's some sort of connection and insight into her life? The main character of the movie, Juno, is different than the other kids in her school.... she's a little dark. She's just trying to find her way in the world. Mercer's birthmother, Danielle, doesn't exactly act like her or look like her (dresses kinda like her, though), but I can imagine she was trying to figure out her place too. Such a confusing time for teenagers, honestly.

The parts of this movie that I imagine were really hard in real life for Danielle were:

- telling her dad & step mom that she was pregnant...

- the decision to keep the baby instead of aborting it ("I want the baby to be with people who are going to love it and be good parents")...

- the AGONY that the adoptive parents went through trying to make everything perfect / trying to relate to the girl ("How sure would you say you are? We went through a situation before where it didn't work out")... [SO glad we didn't have to go through that with Mercer!!!]

- Juno watching Vanessa (adoptive mother) play with the little girl at the mall.... [either thinking she would be a good mom -- or realizing that these are times that she won't be sharing with her baby as he/she grows up]

- the emotions she expressed at school with everyone staring at her/ how big she is/ being uncomfortable/ etc. ...

- giving birth at the hospital & how endearing it was to watch her interact with her father at the hospital ("you'll be back here at some point in the future on your terms")...

There were definitely some similarities with Danielle's family situation (abandoned by her own mother / dad & step mom have younger kid of their own / daddy really looking out for his little girl / etc) . WOW.



I think I watched it a 2nd time to see if I wouldn't boo-hoo through it again? NOPE. Boy - sure am glad that we didn't watch this before we adopted Mercer. It makes me very thankful that things happened the way they did (although it was insane). The emotional "stuff" before the birth and the waiting has to be so hard. I know when we adopt again -- yes... we'd love for Mercer to have a baby sister -- it may not be as easy in that regard.


On a HAPPIER note: I was talking to my friend Susan yesterday. She's so encouraging and so positive / has a great way of bringing me up (I was really tired yesterday - so I wasn't in a bad mood but I wasn't necessarily chipper). She asked me what has been the best part so far... what have I enjoyed the most? I told her that I LOVE his social smiling.... it's great! But - probably my favorite part so far is when bringing Mercer to bed to sleep -- the waking up with him in my arms. He's completely comfortable in my arms and trusting. So innocent. So sweet. I'll ask Todd what his best part is and post it in a future blog. I'd like to hear what he thinks.


I'll blog more about stuff we've done with Mercer this week & pictures too... but just wanted to get this Juno stuff out of my head. I haven't blogged lately about Danielle. She got the scrapbook I sent a month ago & texted that it was beautiful / she loved it. I texted back the following week & gave her an update on his size. She never responded. (Which was odd b/c she would usually initiate the text message each week / I'd be the one responding.) I texted her the following weekend too and told her an Easter card I sent came back to us -- should I send it to her dad's house. No response on that one either.

I emailed the social worker in Colorado the week after that (last week) and asked her to check in on Danielle... see if she's still in her apartment. see if she's ok. see if she's already moved on -- or if it hurts her when I text and try to communicate. The social worker said she'd check and let me know. Haven't heard, so I don't really know what to do. I think in a month, I'll work on the next installment of the scrapbook (the 3 month page) and send to her, but maybe I'll send it to her dad's house. When / if she wants to add it to her book, she can get it from him?

Wish I knew.

We should unveil the middle name!

We have been tossing names around for the past two months -- and one of them finally stuck (for over a week we haven't changed our minds). So -- we're calling the little guy "Mercer Garrison Groves." We joked about putting this on Ebay so that Sony or Apple or someone like that could bid & start a little college fund, but we were afraid of what we'd get and he'd be stuck with!

As of yesterday, we used this name on two official documents (a savings account and papers that the adoption attorney is filing with the state of Georgia in about a week). So - I guess that's it! Just thought you'd want to know.

We're making other progress. We have ordered a little bit more furniture for the nursery -- and this is forcing us to go ahead and finish it (needed to be done). I worked on caulking some more and actually started painting a little today of the design. It looks a little bold -- haven't ever done a "theme" room before. Hope we like it!

Earlier this week, Mercer and I visited a newborn up the street while Todd was in Asheville. Her name is Lily and she's two weeks old and oh-so-tiny. I was marveling at how small she was until her mother, Sandra, reminded me that she's larger than Mercer was when we brought him home. (Lily started out at 7 lbs 6 oz). She reminded me too how quickly we forget. WOW. It's SO TRUE! I ended up scrolling down to the end of February to review the previous blog entries and reminisce about how small Mercer actually was.

This weekend, we're working on the nursery to try to finish it before the furniture (and social worker) come next week. Also, I made contact with the two families who had boys on our street in February and we may try to connect. Both have called back / we're talking about setting something up this weekend too. I'll snap pics, of course of that. Oh yeah -- and tomorrow I'm meeting a friend who has a son who was also born in February, but she lives on the other side of Atlanta. I'll try to snap a pic of him too!

Later,

c