Cinco de Mayo -- Tagged Tres Times

Of course I should blog about the good stuff -- but the "real" stuff should be in here too, right?! I had lunch with an old friend yesterday (on the 5th) and she said she reads a couple of other mother's blogs -- and that she was intimidated early in her duties of motherhood b/c there was only good stuff on there... they seemed to be doing things perfectly. I don't know if I've blogged about the downs as well as the ups. We by no means are doing it all right -- but we're having fun trying! I've told Mercer over and over, "We're new at this, please be patient with us!" He seems to understand.

So - on that note - let me admit that I was tagged not once... not twice... but THREE times yesterday! I gave Mercer a baby massage with some massage oil and a "Gentle Baby" essential oil that our friend Carla gave us mixed into it. Afterwards, I had him wrapped in a towel (and an extra cloth around his lower half) so that the oils would have time to soak in. At the same time, I attacked the cradle cap issue on the top of his head by rubbing olive oil into his head. Apparently, both made him extremely relaxed -- as he pee-ed all over me -- missing somehow that cloth I had around his waist!

Later, I gave him a bath and again wrapped him in a towel. Before I could get him dressed - as I was carrying him - he tagged me again. But that was actually the 3rd time of the day. The first happened that morning when he was sleeping.... and it was basically a diaper over-run. But - it's worth it, honestly! Todd's been feeding him around 11 (+/-) and then swaddle and put him in the cradle. Mercer is sleeping until 2:30 or 4:00 or 5:00 am -- at which time I go get him / bring him to bed. He continues to sleep and as of late has been beginning to wail that he wants breakfast around 6 / 6:30 / or 7. It's been GREAT! He's getting a ton of sleep and we're getting more as well.

There's an attachment parenting book I've been trying to read -- and there's a line in there that I love: (paraphrased) "The best place for your baby to sleep is where the WHOLE family gets the most rest." They're talking about how a lot of people criticize bringing a baby to bed -- how in this culture a baby must sleep by themselves in the crib, but in other cultures around the world, they never would've thought of doing such a thing! It's interesting.

Too much ramble... not enough pictures!

On Friday, we had lunch with a friend, Katy, who was the structural engineer on one of my past projects. She had her second child, Gage, a few weeks before Mercer ( 02/04/08 ). She & I probably only get together once or twice a year, for she's on the other side of Atlanta from us, but we found a place to meet mid-way and catch up. This will undoubtedly be interesting to watch the two "Feb 08" babies as they grow.

I thought that we were going to meet a couple of other Feb 08 babies on Saturday -- who live on our street -- but that has been post-poned due to schedule issues. Instead, we (drove) to the square to check out opening day of the Farmer's Market. We only had time to buy a couple of tomato plants before getting rained on and ducking into a restaurant for breakfast. There was also a craft fair on the square, but b/c of the rain, we decided to go back the next day. Sunday, we walked to the square and checked out the vendor's wares. Mercer was the Parks & Rec "mascot" hanging out in their tent for awhile (with his honorary "Georgia Grandma Joan") who needed a little bit of baby love. The thing that we enjoy about our square: Community. We ran into SO many people we knew (neighbors, former neighbors, former co-workers, current co-workers, etc).

Monday, Mercer and I met Allison, a former classmate from high-school who I also went to churh with. She brought her son, John David, who is 2 1/2 years old. We had not yet met him for it's been over 3 years since we've seen her. She lives about an hour away from where we live -- and we, too, met somewhere in between in order to get together. They brought Mercer a picture that they both made. So sweet! The photo came out pretty dark, however, I think you can see how cute it is.

Otherwise, we enjoyed beautiful weather Sunday, working in the garden a little bit (Mercer spent some time in a new "tent" that we got for him Saturday), and working on painting the nursery.

Saturday morning - full of emotion

I don't know why I'm here again... I'm watching the movie about adoption called "Juno" for the 2nd time. We watched it last night and I boo-hoo'ed through it. Why am I watching it again this morning?

I feel that we've already lost touch with the birthmother -- and maybe as I watch it, I feel that there's some sort of connection and insight into her life? The main character of the movie, Juno, is different than the other kids in her school.... she's a little dark. She's just trying to find her way in the world. Mercer's birthmother, Danielle, doesn't exactly act like her or look like her (dresses kinda like her, though), but I can imagine she was trying to figure out her place too. Such a confusing time for teenagers, honestly.

The parts of this movie that I imagine were really hard in real life for Danielle were:

- telling her dad & step mom that she was pregnant...

- the decision to keep the baby instead of aborting it ("I want the baby to be with people who are going to love it and be good parents")...

- the AGONY that the adoptive parents went through trying to make everything perfect / trying to relate to the girl ("How sure would you say you are? We went through a situation before where it didn't work out")... [SO glad we didn't have to go through that with Mercer!!!]

- Juno watching Vanessa (adoptive mother) play with the little girl at the mall.... [either thinking she would be a good mom -- or realizing that these are times that she won't be sharing with her baby as he/she grows up]

- the emotions she expressed at school with everyone staring at her/ how big she is/ being uncomfortable/ etc. ...

- giving birth at the hospital & how endearing it was to watch her interact with her father at the hospital ("you'll be back here at some point in the future on your terms")...

There were definitely some similarities with Danielle's family situation (abandoned by her own mother / dad & step mom have younger kid of their own / daddy really looking out for his little girl / etc) . WOW.



I think I watched it a 2nd time to see if I wouldn't boo-hoo through it again? NOPE. Boy - sure am glad that we didn't watch this before we adopted Mercer. It makes me very thankful that things happened the way they did (although it was insane). The emotional "stuff" before the birth and the waiting has to be so hard. I know when we adopt again -- yes... we'd love for Mercer to have a baby sister -- it may not be as easy in that regard.


On a HAPPIER note: I was talking to my friend Susan yesterday. She's so encouraging and so positive / has a great way of bringing me up (I was really tired yesterday - so I wasn't in a bad mood but I wasn't necessarily chipper). She asked me what has been the best part so far... what have I enjoyed the most? I told her that I LOVE his social smiling.... it's great! But - probably my favorite part so far is when bringing Mercer to bed to sleep -- the waking up with him in my arms. He's completely comfortable in my arms and trusting. So innocent. So sweet. I'll ask Todd what his best part is and post it in a future blog. I'd like to hear what he thinks.


I'll blog more about stuff we've done with Mercer this week & pictures too... but just wanted to get this Juno stuff out of my head. I haven't blogged lately about Danielle. She got the scrapbook I sent a month ago & texted that it was beautiful / she loved it. I texted back the following week & gave her an update on his size. She never responded. (Which was odd b/c she would usually initiate the text message each week / I'd be the one responding.) I texted her the following weekend too and told her an Easter card I sent came back to us -- should I send it to her dad's house. No response on that one either.

I emailed the social worker in Colorado the week after that (last week) and asked her to check in on Danielle... see if she's still in her apartment. see if she's ok. see if she's already moved on -- or if it hurts her when I text and try to communicate. The social worker said she'd check and let me know. Haven't heard, so I don't really know what to do. I think in a month, I'll work on the next installment of the scrapbook (the 3 month page) and send to her, but maybe I'll send it to her dad's house. When / if she wants to add it to her book, she can get it from him?

Wish I knew.

We should unveil the middle name!

We have been tossing names around for the past two months -- and one of them finally stuck (for over a week we haven't changed our minds). So -- we're calling the little guy "Mercer Garrison Groves." We joked about putting this on Ebay so that Sony or Apple or someone like that could bid & start a little college fund, but we were afraid of what we'd get and he'd be stuck with!

As of yesterday, we used this name on two official documents (a savings account and papers that the adoption attorney is filing with the state of Georgia in about a week). So - I guess that's it! Just thought you'd want to know.

We're making other progress. We have ordered a little bit more furniture for the nursery -- and this is forcing us to go ahead and finish it (needed to be done). I worked on caulking some more and actually started painting a little today of the design. It looks a little bold -- haven't ever done a "theme" room before. Hope we like it!

Earlier this week, Mercer and I visited a newborn up the street while Todd was in Asheville. Her name is Lily and she's two weeks old and oh-so-tiny. I was marveling at how small she was until her mother, Sandra, reminded me that she's larger than Mercer was when we brought him home. (Lily started out at 7 lbs 6 oz). She reminded me too how quickly we forget. WOW. It's SO TRUE! I ended up scrolling down to the end of February to review the previous blog entries and reminisce about how small Mercer actually was.

This weekend, we're working on the nursery to try to finish it before the furniture (and social worker) come next week. Also, I made contact with the two families who had boys on our street in February and we may try to connect. Both have called back / we're talking about setting something up this weekend too. I'll snap pics, of course of that. Oh yeah -- and tomorrow I'm meeting a friend who has a son who was also born in February, but she lives on the other side of Atlanta. I'll try to snap a pic of him too!

Later,

c

The past few days...

Wanted to post this shot Todd took of Mercer doing some Tummy Time. He's really holding up his head so well when on his belly... normally, he'd flop back down after a few seconds, but I think those days have passed.

We had a somewhat "normal" (for us) weekend... we went downtown to a social thing at my office -- in honor of a co-worker who is leaving that I like a lot : - ( Afterwards, we attended a photography exhibit that a former colleague of ours was in. We grabbed dinner afterwards and brought home a really tired baby. I guess being carried around in the sling while gallery-hopping and eating his bottle at a mexican cantina wore the little guy out? It was nice to do what we liked to do -- but we just had extra stuff to carry around (the diaper bag & the sling / sling accessories). It will make going out a little tougher for us, for sure, but it's good to know we can still do it.

We do go out some -- but it's either singly (I went to girl's night last week w/o Mercer while Todd watched him) or as family events with other couples w/ children. We have had some people offer to watch lil' M if we want to go out, but I don't think we've felt deprived / haven't "needed" to get away yet.

Saturday night, we had some folks over for a cookout. Due to the downpour, the cookout was done on the George Foreman grill indoors! The people who were over were former co-workers and they came to celebrate / hang out with us and little M. Don't you just love people's reactions / the attention paid to our baby boy? Even this guy, Dave -- who makes known that he doesn't like kids / babies -- wanted to hold Mercer and interact with him!

Todd watched Mercer basically ALL weekend. I thought they could use some time together since he & I were in NC last week... and b/c Todd is in Asheville right now for work. The NFL draft was this weekend & they watched it together.... and sacked out later as seen here! It allowed me to clean the house / work on some renovation drawings for a neighbor on Saturday... bake / cook / nap on Sunday. Exciting, huh?!

It's all good, actually. Oh --- you know what's REALLY GOOD? Mercer's social smiling and his coo-ing / gurgling. Ahhhhh... it's the best! We're looking at video cams so that we can capture some of this (now that he's doing "stuff"). I think you can post little videos to the blog. We'll try to capture it and post some point soon.

Candice

Blog about Thursday afternoon

My grandmother, Inez, fell on Thursday and broke her leg. She had surgery Friday afternoon and had a plate and pins put in to hold the bones back in place... she will definitely have to do some physical therapy to get to walking again on it. It's so hard to imagine, as we just saw her up & about. Oh I feel so bad that she had to go through that -- but those of you reading, please pass along good vibes / prayers / thoughts so that she heals quickly. I am glad we saw her earlier this week, but I wish we could be there to cheer her up. She really enjoyed rocking Mercer and singing to him. It was so sweet! Grandma - when you read this... know Mercer is having sweet dreams of those moments & he wishes you a speedy recovery!

Probably about the same time as that happened, I was up the street at a neighbor's house for a play date. Mercer can't really play with anyone yet -- it was an excuse, really, to hang out with some of the moms on the street and to let another one of our neighbors get her baby fix for the day. Here are a few pics of that. I took this one of Mercer and Brody on the blanket (for comparison, really, to my friend Cindy's son - Trevor from the April 18th blog entry). I think they're around the same age and around the same size?! Maybe Trevor is a little bit longer? Both Brody and Trevor drool a lot. Maybe it's that age? Mercer doesn't do it so much -- but he's starting to blow bubbles.

Here's another cutie that Mercer may have a crush on at some point... Mary Peyton. Her twin brother, Luke, will be keeping the boys away, I'm sure!

It seems that there are a TON of babies on the street. There were 2 other houses on our street with blue ribbons/ "it's a boy" balloons on their door when we came home from Colorado. I'm planning to bake something and just go knock on their doors / meet them. Crazy if we have 3 little boys all born in February here! There was just a baby girl born last week on our street and another couple who's expecting next month. Suppose we should change the name of our street to Baby Lane?

ok - one more shot of baby Brody.... had to get a pic of all of the leg chub and him eating his toes. So scrumptious!

2 months old and 12 lbs later....

yup. weighed him again. he's around 12 lbs +/-

yikes! but, Mercer turned 2 months old today (Wednesday the 23rd) so I thought I should weigh him.

just wanted to post a quick blog to tell you to scroll down to the previous 2 posts to check out the photos added to the entries. (found the photo thing)

Home Sweet Home!

Mercer & I made it home pretty late last night. We would've been home a little sooner, but I wanted to stop by Babies R Us on the way home to attend an Earth Day presentation they were doing on green babies. It was just an "ok" presentation -- as we're doing most of the things they suggested. But there was one area which I hadn't thought about: indoor air quality as it pertains to pet dander / dust mites / HEPA filtration. (I've thought of air quality as it pertains to low-VOC paints, cleaners, and finishes in the furnishings -- but this other one is a housekeeping issue.) We'll have to work on that one a bit more!!

We do have a HEPA filter in our room where the cradle is located now, but we should probably get one for the nursery too. Todd worked on the nursery a bit while we were gone... the main thing he did was to caulk the crown moulding. I need to do some work on the paint over the next week or so and it will be shaping up.

The woman presenting on the green babies also talked about cleanliness issues -- especially as it pertains to handling of the baby. She warned against letting people handle the baby b/c you just don't know how clean they are. (She shared a scary / gross story about how her own 2 month old daughter picked up Chlamydia (an STD!) from someone who apparently didn't wash their hands prior to touching the baby. She knows it wasn't her or her husband... the hospital required both of them be tested / it sounded like they were potentially going to get into trouble b/c of it). She told us to not be afraid to ask people to wash their hands before handling the baby -- or just not letting people touch the baby at all. Ick!

I was reading yesterday in the day-by-day journal that babies have "super immunity" for the first couple of months of their lives (supplied by the pregnant mother) and that this immunity is starting to taper off. We should try to be a little more protective of the little guy now.

On a brighter note:

Mercer was adored by all of his relatives in NC this past week. Mercer & I went to the NC Zoo Saturday morning. Mom works there / there's a new Africa exhibit with Elephants and Rhinos that Mercer went to check out. He slept through most of it. It was a nice exhibit, though and we know that he'll enjoy his next visit much more!

We had my mom's family stop by on Saturday (folks dropped in throughout the afternoon) to visit... and had my dad's family stop by on Sunday. Mercer met his 3 GREAT grandparents over the course of the week. He also met (great) aunts, uncles, and 2nd (or 3rd?) cousins. Monday, we visited 2 nursing homes to visit family members... and Tuesday on the way out of town, met a bunch of mom's co-workers who have been following along Mercer's journey in the blog.

Below: My mom with little M ... My mom's mother, Inez and father, Melvin ... My mom's sister, Sandra ... My mom's brother, Eddie and his family. Mercer met my mom's other brother & his fam, but I don't have a picture with him (Mel)). He also met some of my cousins as well (not pictured either).

Below: My dad's brother, David, and his family ... My dad's sister, Becky, and her husband Tony ... and my dad's mother, Edith

We'll post pics later today or tomorrow in this blog entry and the previous blog entry too. (I still need to find that photo thing that connects the camera to the computer! Ahhhh - technology!)

We enjoyed all of our family visits (to NJ and to NC)... We're just glad to be home and Todd is glad to have us back too!