Tuesday, June 16, 2020

There are some very heavy things going on...

I fully intended to continue writing more on the last post the week before last, but I just couldn't sort out my thoughts in order to put them down.  Honestly - last week - was not good either.


About 3 weeks ago, a man was murdered by police officers while he was laying on the ground.  His violation / his offense was not a dangerous one (using a counterfeit 20$ bill)…  he was not resisting arrest or fighting back.  He was laying on the ground - pinned down begging for his life.  The ordeal lasted for approximately 9 minutes and by-standers were begging the police to stop.  

I heard a pastor say on TV that the quarantine due to Covid-19 was the "powder-keg."  George Floyd's death is the "spark" that ignited the powder.  The entire nation has been up in arms for over 2 weeks at this point.  There have been protests and rallies in all of the major cities across the US as well as smaller towns too.  Unfortunately, it seems that when the sun sets on the peaceful protests, riots have been breaking out.  There are suggestions that there are different people coming in for the rioting and looting after the protests.


We have been talking to the kids about what's going on.  We're not completely shielding them from all the racial awareness and that are happening right now, however.  We told them about the death of George Floyd and how it has sparked / is sparking a revolution across the US -- heck -- actually it's happening across the globe!  We have told them about privilege and prejudice.  (We've always had conversations about skin color and historically what was happening... we've only really talked to Mercer - before he went into middle school - about how this prejudice was still going on, unfortunately.)  But now - we have discussed this with both children at this point.  

We've shown some news coverage to Mercer.  We've only shown specific programs to Isabella.  We watched the movie Hidden Figures.  For the most part, she hung with us - but we had to keep stopping the movie to explain some things.  We had some good conversations.  The next morning was a Sesame Street / CNN town-hall video.  It took awhile to get her to watch that - but at least Mercer hung with us the whole time.  It was kind of cool to see that the Atlanta mayor was on the CNN special.  She's been on a bunch of other shows too - even a discussion that Oprah held.  She gave a really powerful speech the night that riots broke out in Atlanta.  We watched it several times -- she's like the "mom" of the city.  Mercer has watched it or seen parts of it multiple times too.

I believe the rioting has calmed down some (although at this writing there was another incident in Atlanta this past weekend because of another police shooting).   There are still peaceful protests going on in places.  I have started to pull away from tv and the media and am feeling a little bit better.  But, there for awhile, it was like I was drawn to the news and I could not turn it off.  (I was cleaning and organizing my teacher supplies that ended up in the room behind our kitchen -- so I was isolated from the kids.)   They would check on me and know that I was upset.  It's brought about some conversations.  It's especially tricky as white parents of bi-racial children.  It's honestly hard to know what to feel.
I've really been struggling with understanding terms and concepts that are being brought to the public conversation.  Apparently these things have been in the dialogue of people of color, but not necessarily for whites.  It started with the term "white fragility" -- focused on power that white women have in regards to color.  There's another about "colonization" that I am learning about.  I am learning about "systematic racism" as well.  


The term that I am having a really hard time with is "white privilege."  On Oprah's show one person said (to help Caucasians understand) a psychologist used the analogy that when you're white and you're swimming in a stream... you're swimming WITH the current.  If you're black and your swimming in a stream... you're swimming AGAINST the current.  It's harder to swim and you may get pulled back some.  Not to say that the white person isn't struggling.... but the black person has to work that much harder.  I liked this analogy... and it does help me understand.  Oprah said that white people that she's talked to ARE having a hard time with understanding the term "privilege" --- they think it means wealth and   She says, perhaps, it should be called "White Advantage."  


This is the first time in history that people can remember... that both black and white are fighting together to bring about change.  They are protesting together.  Whites are carrying signs saying "Black Lives Matter."   We went for a bike ride a couple of Sundays ago.  We saw - from across a really big intersection - a group of protesters in front of the police station on a main road.  Our kids had seen the protests on TV, so they were aware that this was going on... but we had no idea it was happening in our town.  
Our bike ride was an excuse to get some fresh air and exercise while checking out an artwork installment that was placed along a trail that goes near Marietta Square.  (That's what the photos are above.... my favorite part of the ride as evidenced by the multiple photos were the colored plexiglass pieces installed on the bridges along the trail.  We went on a beautiful day and the light was phenomenal!)

When we were headed home, we rode by the protest in progress -- they were on the move and walking to the square.  We stopped and it was good for the most part. (There was one Caucasian woman who was aggressive to us, but everyone else was fine.)    I did not know about the protest, but happened to be wearing the tee-shirt that I had picked up from the Museum of Human and Civil Rights when I went on the field trip with Mercer.  Obviously, no one could see the tee, but we were there in solidarity with those who were protesting!  One thing that made me sad is that our 7 year old was chanting "hands up don't shoot" once we got home.  This is the same kid who wants to watch videos of cats and dogs singing songs.  There is a lot of innocence that is being taken from children across the US by having to have these conversations... but they are necessary and very important.


Last summer, we had "the talk" with Mercer.  Until a few years ago, I thought that meant the sex talk.  Yes - we did have the intro to the sex talk before he was entering middle school -- but as a male of color there's a different "talk" that's required to be had here in America.  Thank goodness, a couple of African American teachers at my old Projects-Based-Learning School pulled me aside and told me about a different kind of talk that we needed to have with Mercer.  (We had to tell our -then- 11 year old about prejudice and how he may be treated differently than Caucasian males.  When he drives and if he is pulled over, there are different rules for him.)  This is so unacceptable!  I want more for him!  I want him to be happy-go-lucky and just enjoy being himself!   


Someone told me about a Marietta High School student-led protest.  Todd and I talked and thought it would be good for Mercer to see.  He and I rode our bikes up to the square and were standing on the side.  We were the only "spectators" there, honestly.  I asked if he wanted to jump in and walk but he did not.  Then, a neighbor recognized and acknowledged him. 

Then someone from our church saw me and called out my name.  At that point, he felt comfortable and he said OK.  So.... we walked with the protesters.  We didn't have signs.  We didn't say anything.  The chants were similar to that of the one we observed the week before.    

There were some signs that I liked a lot.  There must have been a Marietta High School teacher marching.  She had her own take on the Black Lives Matter saying with "My Black Students Matter" and putting initials of her students around the perimeter of the sign.  

This one that is hard to read says "Hey!  I love You!  You are Probably thinking You don't even know me.... WE  But if People can hate for no reason, I can love.  I WILL LOVE."  


Also, above is a cute sign with the dog.  "Humans must do better."  

It was nice to see that people along the way had juice boxes and waters, but close to the end, the police had a giant cooler and were handing out waters too.  That was awesome to see them in a positive light and as allies.  

Mercer noticed the helicopter above and came home to see if we were on the news.  We were for a split second.  Todd snapped this picture from the newscast.  We are next to teh Point on the arrow.  Mercer is the tall kid in blue.  (Taller than me!)  They reported that there were over 800 people there.  Overall, it was a good experience and I'm glad that he got to see a peaceful protest / experience as his first one.  (Honestly as my first one too!)   

I am proud of him for jumping in.  I hope that he remembers this experience.  If the photo is clear enough, you can see that we are fairly well socially-distanced and wearing masks.   


There has been a lot of people protesting without masks.  There is a fear that there will be a surge in the Coronavirus.  Honestly, our numbers have sort of stayed the same since the "reopening" happened.  There wasn't really a drop before the reopening... but there hasn't been a spike, thankfully.  (The #s in orange still need more verification, but it does look like it's moving upwards a little bit.)

Nationally, the numbers are still really really high.  Across the country, other areas such as New York City and New Jersey shore are opening.  

Across the US, there have been over 2,000,000 cases reported and just over 116,000 deaths.  Almost 31,000 of those has been in New York.  New Jersey has had over 12,000 deaths.  (In Georgia, we're much further down the list with close to 2,500 deaths across our state.)


















Globally, there have been over 8,000,000 reported cases and 437,532 deaths.



















We had a zoom call with some former classmates from college for a birthday celebration -- the birthday boy (pictured in the large frame) lives outside of New York City and he said that to go into work (which he rarely did), he would dress out in his mask, gloves, take extra clothes.  He would wait 'til after the rush a bit... take the subway (he doesn't own a car)... get to the office clean up, scrub down, change clothes.  Then returning home he would have to do the same thing.  He said it just wasn't worth it.  All the other folks on the call live in more suburban areas.  He's certainly the hardest hit.  It's a very different scenario there than we have here.  (Although when we make a trip to the grocery we do the same with the change of clothes and scrub-down.  I'm sure our exposure isn't nearly what his would be on the subway!!)


There is still so much to learn about this virus.  There is still so much unknown.  

All I know is that it feels like we're living in 2 pandemics:  
1 - because of the virus that has taken over the world.
2 - because of a national conversation around racism.



Here are some "for fun" photos to make this post a little more uplifting.  As mentioned, there are some really heavy things going on.  Isabella wanted to have a tea party with real tea.  (She did not like it until she put a ton of cream and a bunch of sugar into her little cup.)  

She has been talking with a British accent a lot lately....  (and so have I - we have complete conversations as such).  We went with it and even required that "pinkies are up" when drinking!  She eventually roped Mercer into the tea party too.  He wasn't happy except he did like the "tea food."  ha.  


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